Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
