Already got asked if we're dating
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
