i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
