Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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