my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
