I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
