Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
