Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
