You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
