I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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