my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
