I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
