so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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