Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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