oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
