Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
