Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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