we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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