any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You are a genius and a whore.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
