this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
