Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
