I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
