The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
