Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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