Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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