I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
