Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
