ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
