Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
