great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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