Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
