Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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