im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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