he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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