We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
