They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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