i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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