Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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