so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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