News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
