That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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