So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
