I think i peed on brittanys purse
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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