Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
