I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
