just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
