The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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