guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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