they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Less talking, more tequila
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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