he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
